Paradise Reel

I had just recieved news of a film being produced based on the hit Konami game, “Castlevania”. Everything was fine till I read the part where a certain Paul W.S. Anderson is slated to write and direct. Will someone please shoot the bugger before he mucks up another popular franchise?

This is the same guy who sissified “Aliens VS. Predator”, dumbed down “Resident Evil” and turned “Mortal Kombat” into a kiddy film. This is the joker who singlehandedly relegated the genre of video game films to the bottom of the movie barrel. He is the exact reason why “Doom” and “Halo” have such steep hills to climb when they are released. What was that bugger thinking? I can just imagine this sod sitting at his oak wood desk in some posh studio, plotting which franchise to torpedo next. I have been waiting for a film on Castlevania ever since I slotted that cartridge into my Nintendo some 15 years back. But now I have to contend with this bloke’s videogame-to-movies touch of death… sigh.