One of those office time wasters that is actually quite fun, for movie buffs that is! Some time ago, I posted something called “The Hunt for Horror” where clues to classic horror movies were hidden in a painting.
Well, EMPIRE magazine has done just that but with 50 classic movies instead! I’ve spent the past 30 minutes scouring through the entire painting and only found 12… See how many you can spot!
Click here to test your visual deduction!
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
Synopsis: Sam Witwicky heads off to college to start a normal life but is dragged into the war between the Autobots and Decepticons once again.
Two years ago, director Michael Bay unleashed his updated vision of the classic 80’s cartoon “Transformers” and at the same time, raping our childhood memories of the beloved cartoon. The storyline was whisper thin and filled with plot holes that could swallow planets. Even the designs and animation of the Transformers themselves lacked any real ingenuity. It is two years later and Michael Bay’hem is ready to release the follow up to that travesty and it is bloody apparent that he does not learn from his mistakes.
There are some things that I do like from the movie. Two things in particular, the inclusion of Megan Fox (”Jennifer’s Body” and “Transformers”) in the sequel and the explosive effects. For a director that made his mark blowing stuff up, he should be given a PhD in making destruction look really good on screen. Having said that, I believe that it should be the ONLY thing he is allowed to do from now on. He could be the “Cory Yuen” (stunt/action coordinator for movies like “Hero” and “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”) of explosive mayhem.
Plot and characterization are usually wasted on a Michael Bay film. Granted that this film had to be chiseled before the writer’s strike of last year, there is some serious lack of quality control here. The script was written by Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman and Ehren Kruger, the first two names were responsible for the initial Transformers movie. But they were also responsible for the witty and extremely entertaining “Star Trek” this year as well. The two films could not be further apart in terms of intellect and entertainment value. So I would have to attribute that disparity to the person who is tasked with visually translating that script for the screen (that would be the role of the director for those who do not know).
You would think that with two movies under their belt, they would have grasped the basic concept of the “Transformers” franchise, or at the very least, the basic concept of storytelling. They managed to get it right somewhat in the first film but this sequel shifts the focus firmly onto the human characters rather than the ‘Transformers’ themselves. The franchise title is “Transformers” and not “Shia LaBeouf and his shiny robot car”. Although Shia LaBeouf (”Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull” and “Eagle Eye”) does a convincing blabbering anti-hero, little can be said for his co-star Megan Fox. She looks amazing on screen but her acting consists primarily of screaming and pouting, usually at the same time. It is a testament to an actor’s craft when the non-live action characters display a wider emotional range than you do.
The story is just downright clunky and lumbering. They throw at us heaps of irrelevant scenes and plot lines that are dispensed mid way. I can still overlook gaping plot holes but dropping entire plot threads is just unforgivable. It is my strong belief that Michael Bay constructs his stories around the places he has not yet destroyed in his films. With that mindset in place, it will be clearer to the audience why certain irrelevant plot lines were played out while others omitted.
Even the humour in this sequel is heavy handed to the point of being banal. It is so ‘in-your-face’ that Mr. Bay’hem might as well be smacking you with a mallet at every proposed comedic element. There are your requisite farts; scrotum and jock strap gags that make you question the intellect of the creators of this film. Heck, the 80’s cartoon series that this film was based on had better dialogue than this drivel. If this were the target audience that they are aiming for, which makes up the bulk of the current Transformers fans, then I’d say that the Transformers franchise should be left to die and never resurrected again.
Speaking of cringe worthy comedic elements, there are two Transformers characters in this film that oddly resemble a certain racial stereotypical character that was lauded and lynched from Star Wars Episode One. So instead of taking an obvious cue of avoiding a beehive of criticism, they not only give us one copy of Jar Jar Binks, but TWO! Characterization has never been Michael Bay’s strong feature but even this is a new low for him.
The first live action Transformers film made a mint for the production studios and it is in their best interest not to mess with a good thing. Which translates that all the trappings that made the first film mediocre, are still present in this sequel. The Transformers are just a mesh of silver once they get into a fighting frenzy, forcing the audience to squint and speculate who is getting beaten by whom. It is clearly a design flaw on the production part as in robot form; the Autobots are almost indistinguishable from the Decepticons. Coupled with the “shaky” camera movements employed to add faux realism, the fight scenes could be migraine inducing for some.
Venture into the theaters only if you enjoy 2 full hours of explosions and mindless Bay’hem. But if you are a fan of the 80’s cartoon, do yourself a favour, dig out the 1986 “Transformers: The Movie” animated film and relive the true essence of the Transformers series.
Every now and then, I come across a tale that not only inspires but reminds us that there are still some decency in the world. I created this movie blog to celebrate the wonders of film making and the joys and impact of simply, telling a story. So it is here where I would like to share with you, the true story of a little girl whose last wish on Earth, was to watch a movie.
Colby Curtin, a 10 year-old girl from Huntington Beach California, was treated to the trailer of the Pixar latest animated movie while watching “Monsters VS Aliens”. She was immediately captivated by the high adventures of the main character Carl Fredrickson’s flying house of balloons that she promptly told her mother that she had to watch it. It was as normal a request from any 10 year-old but Colby is no ordinary child. 3 years ago, she was diagnosed with a rare form of vascular cancer that the doctors did not have a positive prognosis for.
The film opened in the USA in early June and it was apparent that Colby’s condition worsened to the point where she was bedridden and could not get to the theater. So a family friend made some desperate calls to Pixar and Disney for any help that they could render. It wasn’t before long that Pixar furnished one of its employees with a DVD copy of the movie and flew said employee down to Huntington Beach to hold a private screening of the movie for Colby.
It was her dying wish to see the film and she did just that before passing away only 7 hours after the movie’s curtains closed.
Cynics would probably attribute this to a publicity stunt on Disney/Pixar’s part but at the end of the day, a little girl wanted to watch their latest film before she died. The title was “Up” and that is probably where she is right now.
Dedicated to Colby Curtin
You can read her full story HERE
You know you are old when Hollywood starts to cull your childhood for potential movie franchises. Michael Bay (”Bad Boys” and “The Island”) pillaged our memories of “Transformers” two years ago and Stephen Sommers (”The Mummy” and “The Mummy 2″) is in line to do just that with “GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra” later this summer.
So, taking a cue from Hollywood, cartoonist Dan Meth produced and animated this selection of teaser trailers based on what he feels our current slate of directors would do if given the chance to ‘re-invent’ 80’s hit cartoons series. Give me my “Bionic Six” and “Starcom” movies now!!!
Enjoy!
Synopsis: Saya, a 400-year old Vampire demon slayer, must hunt down and kill the demon who wiped out her entire family.
“Blood the last Vampire” started out as a 45 minute Original Video Animation (OVA) that was to serve as the first volume to a story that would unfold over three different mediums. Animation was the first, then followed by novels and finally, two video games. The novels and videogames did not reach the international masses as they were never localized for the overseas market but the Anime public embraced the OVA with reverence. It was instantly hailed as a milestone in Japanese Animation which pushed the boundaries of what traditional animation was. And it is also due to the very “fan reverence” that led Producer William Kong (“Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”, “Hero”) to ponder the feasibility of making a live action adaptation of the Anime.
Which was probably the worst decision in the history of wrong decisions that French cinema has ever made.
There are some stories that fare better in their original medium. The universally despised film “Dungeons and Dragons” come to mind. But “Blood the last Vampire” just screamed to be adapted to a live action vehicle. It had all the major components of a summer blockbuster. The main protagonist is a 400 year-old (but looks 16) half bloodsucker, half human female demon slayer, potential for huge action sequences, a cross cultural setting and it’s about vampires. It is what Hollywood would label as a “sure hit”. So, it would have needed a pretty ‘remarkable’ cast and crew to screw it all up.
Someone really dropped the ball on this one. Be it the producer, the director, the scriptwriter or a combination of all three, there is no way any self respecting filmmaker would have released a movie like this one. Granted that this is about vampires/demons people are expected to suspend their disbelief. However, this movie requires us to take that disbelief and hang ourselves with it. I have to admit, the first 20 minutes were intriguing enough but there was so much rehashed from the anime that it would be hard to give any of the filmmakers credit for doing so. And once we are past that marker, everything just falls to mediocrity.
I’m actually really happy to see Jeon Ji Hyun (Gianna Jun to the American public) acting again after so long. Her breakthrough film “Il Mare” is one of my favourite films of all time and I have been following her career ever since. That said, I do believe that the role of the main protagonist, Saya, was miscast. Ji Hyun persona is just too sweet and feisty to carry off the brooding demon hunter with a chip on her shoulder. Don’t get me wrong, Ji Hyun is a joy to watch but in “Blood the Last Vampire” they basically get her to play the arrogant teenager for most of the movie. But on that note, she is probably the only aspect that is keeping the audience from walking out of the theater.
Chris Nahon only other film that I can recall is the Jet Li vehicle “Kiss of the Dragon” which incidentally was also a movie with a wafer thin plot. His penchant for fast jump cuts betrays his MTV background and it does not lend any benefit to Cory Yuen’s (”Hero” and “House of Hidden Daggers”) chorography. All of the action sequences are a myriad of staccato and slo-mo scenes that confuses us rather than showcase the elaborate stunts that Cory Yuen laid out. A fight scene is something along the lines of what we viewed in Zhang Yi Mou’s “Hero” or the “Wong Fei Hong” series starring Jet Li. Heck, even the fight scene in “Doom” had more adrenalin pumping through its imagery than Blood’s failed attempt at action.
I would venture into the visual aspect of the movie but to keep it short and sweet, lets just say that I’ve seen better computer generated imagery (CGI) in the portfolios of students looking for summer internships. There is one rooftop fight scene where the CGI is so badly composited you will wonder if you are watching the work-print or the actual movie itself.
I believe that the real problem here is that the filmmakers failed to grasp the concept of a Japanese anime. The story may be non-existent, but it would be a cold day in hell if the Japanese did not produce a visual arresting piece to mask the lack of story. How such travesty as the live action “Blood the last Vampire” made it through the quality assurance of William Kong, I will have no idea, till I find him, strap him to a chair and grill the information out of the bloke.
So to recap, we have a French director, a Hong Kong producer, a Korean actress, all trying to adapt a piece of Japanese animation to an American audience.
No wonder everything went to the crapper.
I do not normally post anything on games but I’ll make an exception here as its content had its origins in celluloid. “Star Wars: The Old Republic” is a Massive Multiplayer Online (MMO) game developed by BioWare and published by LucasArts. For those who played “Knights of the Old Republic”, this game takes place right after the events of the last installment.
Recently the powers that be, released a new cinematic trailer for the game and well, it’s quite a beauty to watch. Heck, it’s 3 minute plus length is more exciting and cinematic than Episodes 1-3 put together! This is how Jedi and Sith were supposed to battle! Ol’George could take a pointer or two from some of the shots executed here.
Check it out below!