Paradise Reel

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

Synopsis: Sam Witwicky heads off to college to start a normal life but is dragged into the war between the Autobots and Decepticons once again.

Two years ago, director Michael Bay unleashed his updated vision of the classic 80’s cartoon “Transformers” and at the same time, raping our childhood memories of the beloved cartoon. The storyline was whisper thin and filled with plot holes that could swallow planets. Even the designs and animation of the Transformers themselves lacked any real ingenuity. It is two years later and Michael Bay’hem is ready to release the follow up to that travesty and it is bloody apparent that he does not learn from his mistakes.

There are some things that I do like from the movie. Two things in particular, the inclusion of Megan Fox (”Jennifer’s Body” and “Transformers”) in the sequel and the explosive effects. For a director that made his mark blowing stuff up, he should be given a PhD in making destruction look really good on screen. Having said that, I believe that it should be the ONLY thing he is allowed to do from now on. He could be the “Cory Yuen” (stunt/action coordinator for movies like “Hero” and “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”) of explosive mayhem.

Plot and characterization are usually wasted on a Michael Bay film. Granted that this film had to be chiseled before the writer’s strike of last year, there is some serious lack of quality control here. The script was written by Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman and Ehren Kruger, the first two names were responsible for the initial Transformers movie. But they were also responsible for the witty and extremely entertaining “Star Trek” this year as well. The two films could not be further apart in terms of intellect and entertainment value. So I would have to attribute that disparity to the person who is tasked with visually translating that script for the screen (that would be the role of the director for those who do not know).

You would think that with two movies under their belt, they would have grasped the basic concept of the “Transformers” franchise, or at the very least, the basic concept of storytelling. They managed to get it right somewhat in the first film but this sequel shifts the focus firmly onto the human characters rather than the ‘Transformers’ themselves. The franchise title is “Transformers” and not “Shia LaBeouf and his shiny robot car”. Although Shia LaBeouf (”Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull” and “Eagle Eye”) does a convincing blabbering anti-hero, little can be said for his co-star Megan Fox. She looks amazing on screen but her acting consists primarily of screaming and pouting, usually at the same time. It is a testament to an actor’s craft when the non-live action characters display a wider emotional range than you do.

The story is just downright clunky and lumbering. They throw at us heaps of irrelevant scenes and plot lines that are dispensed mid way. I can still overlook gaping plot holes but dropping entire plot threads is just unforgivable. It is my strong belief that Michael Bay constructs his stories around the places he has not yet destroyed in his films. With that mindset in place, it will be clearer to the audience why certain irrelevant plot lines were played out while others omitted.

Even the humour in this sequel is heavy handed to the point of being banal. It is so ‘in-your-face’ that Mr. Bay’hem might as well be smacking you with a mallet at every proposed comedic element. There are your requisite farts; scrotum and jock strap gags that make you question the intellect of the creators of this film. Heck, the 80’s cartoon series that this film was based on had better dialogue than this drivel. If this were the target audience that they are aiming for, which makes up the bulk of the current Transformers fans, then I’d say that the Transformers franchise should be left to die and never resurrected again.

Speaking of cringe worthy comedic elements, there are two Transformers characters in this film that oddly resemble a certain racial stereotypical character that was lauded and lynched from Star Wars Episode One. So instead of taking an obvious cue of avoiding a beehive of criticism, they not only give us one copy of Jar Jar Binks, but TWO! Characterization has never been Michael Bay’s strong feature but even this is a new low for him.

The first live action Transformers film made a mint for the production studios and it is in their best interest not to mess with a good thing. Which translates that all the trappings that made the first film mediocre, are still present in this sequel. The Transformers are just a mesh of silver once they get into a fighting frenzy, forcing the audience to squint and speculate who is getting beaten by whom. It is clearly a design flaw on the production part as in robot form; the Autobots are almost indistinguishable from the Decepticons. Coupled with the “shaky” camera movements employed to add faux realism, the fight scenes could be migraine inducing for some.

Venture into the theaters only if you enjoy 2 full hours of explosions and mindless Bay’hem. But if you are a fan of the 80’s cartoon, do yourself a favour, dig out the 1986 “Transformers: The Movie” animated film and relive the true essence of the Transformers series.